Well, I wasn't going to beg a man to stay if he didn't love me. And to be honest, I wasn't in love with him anymore. I wasn't brave enough to tell him all those years ago. I was actually afraid of hurting HIS feelings. What a dunce. This forced me to make a decision so I call an attorney. Within a week I was meeting with him and to our favor there were no minor children so it would be smooth sailing. Hah! He didn't know my soon to be ex.
I don't remember much of those days. They are foggy and blurry in my memory. I guess the brain protects you somehow and you are on auto pilot. I was able to work, go to the attorney, and function. When I would get home at night I would sit alone in the house and cry and try to understand what had happened to my life. I filed on May 1, 2008.
It seemed to happen quickly. He only wanted a few items from the kitchen, he was a better cook than me, so I gave him what he wanted. But we did argue - for the first time - about was the financial settlement. But I had earned my portion of his military retirement compensation and since it is federal law, he was helpless. He would share it with me the rest of his life.
When he would call or come around he was a stranger to me, not someone I had know for almost 40 years. On June 6, 2008 I went to the courthouse and it was over in about 10 minutes. Poof! 30 years of marriage erased. Now he is just someone I used to know.
Just beneath the surface is what you do not see. It is more important than my looks because without it I cease to be.
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