How do you know if it is the real thing? How do you know if you are in love? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. You see, I am in love for the first time in my life. When I married my ex in 1977 I was young, naive and thought I had to be married to make my life complete. I am glad I did because I have three great children and two grandchildren that I would not have otherwise. Life has forced me to examine my life. I am different now and had time to reflect, especially over the past two years. Now I know what I want and what I don’t want.
Love should feel good. Relationships that leave you feeling depleted, sad and making excuses are not based in love. I believed in the fairy tale ending. When reality set in I didn’t know what to do. The stories didn’t tell what happened to Cinderella when she woke up the morning after the wedding and the details of marriage began. I was clinging to the romance part of the story. I fooled myself into thinking I could make it all work but found I was stuck in a marriage that was never meant to last.
There is a peaceful quality to this love I have found that penetrates my inner core, touching a part of me that has always been there. When we are together, I am filled with warmth and a peace I have been searching for since I was a child. I don’t have to prove anything to him. He accepts me as I am and I can be myself at all times, no change required. He has helped me love myself and accept his love. When he looks at me, he truly sees me – I am not invisible anymore. I never felt my ex saw me. I didn’t feel accepted and deep down, truly loved. Today, I don’t feel anxious, needy or nervous. I am strong and this love I have has shown me that I am and always have been worthy of love.
I want to always feel this way but I know that life is change and there are no promises. I take one day at a time. Today I am loved, cherished, adored, accepted, and seen by the one I love. I am happy and in love for the first and hopefully the last time of my life. I have found the real thing and my search is over.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I'm In Love With A Wonderful Guy (23)
It's not the length of life, but the depth of life.
In my last chapter, I mentioned meeting a local man through the Zoosk dating site. We have seen each other often since our first meeting and things are progressing nicely. We have a lot in common and have become very close in a short amount of time. Without telling all my secrets, I want to tell you how I feel about this man.
The last two years have been a big learning experience for me, to say the least. At the time of the divorce I didn't think or believe I could ever find another man to be in my life. But I have worked on myself and been very determined to make my life better and leave the sadness, regret, and disappointment behind. There is no time to be angry, sad, and regretful or backwards looking. I am moving forward and I am very close to being the person I am supposed to be. I haven't been this happy in a very long time. The only thing I wish is that my mom was here to see that I survived the pain of divorce and came through that dark tunnel.
As I began dating several months ago, I wrote down my criteria for what I wanted to find in a mate. This man has them all (and then some) and I am just as surprised as the next person that I have found a man that I could love so quickly. At first, I was meeting him to just be open and have another "growth relationship". The first meeting/date was good, we talked a lot and he was very nice. There was something about him and the way he looked at me. I wasn't sure if I was seeing something that wasn't there because I wanted to or if we genuinely had chemistry and wanted to pursue the relationship. The second date was better. He kissed me on the cheek when I left and I felt a "zing" through my body. I thought it might be the chill of the evening breeze but I couldn't get him out of my mind.
He is very spiritual and believes deeply in God and that was also important for me. We are able to talk about anything and that was another item on my list. He truly cares for me and it not shy about telling me. The words are wonderful to hear and I am starting to believe them. We are just entering our relationship so I know there will be ups and downs. But I am not concentrating on the downs - right now things are great. I am thankful and blessed to have him in my life.
For all you men out there, I have cancelled all my dating site subscriptions and am very happy to not be searching online anymore. I will let you know how things go. Whew! Thank goodness I won't have to go to the prison rodeo to meet a man.
It is never too late, never too late to start over, never too late to be happy. Jane Fonda
In my last chapter, I mentioned meeting a local man through the Zoosk dating site. We have seen each other often since our first meeting and things are progressing nicely. We have a lot in common and have become very close in a short amount of time. Without telling all my secrets, I want to tell you how I feel about this man.
The last two years have been a big learning experience for me, to say the least. At the time of the divorce I didn't think or believe I could ever find another man to be in my life. But I have worked on myself and been very determined to make my life better and leave the sadness, regret, and disappointment behind. There is no time to be angry, sad, and regretful or backwards looking. I am moving forward and I am very close to being the person I am supposed to be. I haven't been this happy in a very long time. The only thing I wish is that my mom was here to see that I survived the pain of divorce and came through that dark tunnel.
As I began dating several months ago, I wrote down my criteria for what I wanted to find in a mate. This man has them all (and then some) and I am just as surprised as the next person that I have found a man that I could love so quickly. At first, I was meeting him to just be open and have another "growth relationship". The first meeting/date was good, we talked a lot and he was very nice. There was something about him and the way he looked at me. I wasn't sure if I was seeing something that wasn't there because I wanted to or if we genuinely had chemistry and wanted to pursue the relationship. The second date was better. He kissed me on the cheek when I left and I felt a "zing" through my body. I thought it might be the chill of the evening breeze but I couldn't get him out of my mind.
He is very spiritual and believes deeply in God and that was also important for me. We are able to talk about anything and that was another item on my list. He truly cares for me and it not shy about telling me. The words are wonderful to hear and I am starting to believe them. We are just entering our relationship so I know there will be ups and downs. But I am not concentrating on the downs - right now things are great. I am thankful and blessed to have him in my life.
For all you men out there, I have cancelled all my dating site subscriptions and am very happy to not be searching online anymore. I will let you know how things go. Whew! Thank goodness I won't have to go to the prison rodeo to meet a man.
It is never too late, never too late to start over, never too late to be happy. Jane Fonda
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