During the negotiating months - about April thru June - I decided I would do one thing I always wanted to do and never could get him to do with me. Learn to ballroom dance. Now you will know why I call this Dancing Through My Divorce. I spent a lot of money on lessons, shoes and time to learn the basics of ballroom dance 3 times a week. I spent money I had saved so I wouldn't have to split it in the settlement, so he kind of paid for it.
I walked in the ballroom and met my teacher. He was young, under 30 but very willing to teach an old woman the wonders of the dance floor. He flattered me, smiled and was always glad to see me. I could feel my self esteem coming back. I had never danced so closely to another man except my ex so this was bizarre. But after the second or third lesson I was relaxed and having fun. I was laughing! I thought I had forgotten how.
I would leave work, which was increasingly becoming a place I didn't want to be at anymore, and head for the studio. So excited to put on my shoes and practice what I had learned and then learn a new step. I wasn't self conscience anymore. I was just as good as the next student. I even went to the mixers on Friday nights and danced with several men. It was great fun and I highly recommend it for anyone who loves to dance.
I remember thinking the last time I went to the studio. How sad I was it was over. I couldn't afford the next level so this would have to do for now. I had faced my fear of new people, new experience and survived. I knew I was going to be okay and could face the next challenge. I was proud of my progress.
Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use. Ruth Gordon
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