Journey (8)

In addition to finding a great counselor, I also went back to church. I was raised in a small Baptist church so I know my Bible and was baptized at a young age. I know religion is not for everyone but it helped me. I really consider myself more spiritual now than religious because I don’t like all the politics and doctrine influence.

My ex was raised in another Christian religion and was not interested in keeping up with it, so I let myself get out of the habit of going. When he was active duty and it was just me and girls I did get them to church so they do have that background. They are spiritual and believe in their own way. There is more to being a Christian than attending church and reading the Bible. I taught my children to be accepting of all, not to judge others, and to be open and generous to all. I hope I live Christ’s message and follow His direction every day.

In the beginning of the divorce I had no one that could give me enough comfort. Instead of blaming God for my problems and loss of my marriage, I needed to be close to God and feel His warmth. Now I was alone and could do what I wanted. I kind of liked that. I decided to go back to church. I visiting the downtown Baptist church I used to attend, listening to the pastor and hearing the music. The pastor is young and the music great.

After a few weeks I decide to find the Bible class for singles over 50. I follow my guide and am greeted by a great group of people that make me feel very welcome. They were all in the same boat just at different stages. I was able to share my fears and angst over being single again.

I also started reading more spiritual books. Max Lucado and Joel Osteen became my favorites. They were positive, uplifting words when all I heard in my head was negative.

The class encouraged me to be social again and if I needed to talk about my situation they were patient and understanding. But I didn’t share anything for a long time. Not that I didn’t think they would listen or help it was just I still couldn’t say I was a divorced person. I was concentrating on healing with my counselor so I didn’t need to talk about it on Sunday mornings. And I enjoyed being sort of anonymous – no one knowing anything about me unless I told them. I also concentrated on prayer and enjoying those quiet moments during the service when my emotions seemed to calm down.

The class name was perfect – Journey. That is what I was on and I realized I wasn’t alone.



God I am trusting You. I believe that You are in control. Even though I don’t understand this and it’s not necessarily something I may have chosen, I’m going to stick with it, and with Your help, I will maintain a good attitude.