How do you know if it is the real thing? How do you know if you are in love? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. You see, I am in love for the first time in my life. When I married my ex in 1977 I was young, naive and thought I had to be married to make my life complete. I am glad I did because I have three great children and two grandchildren that I would not have otherwise. Life has forced me to examine my life. I am different now and had time to reflect, especially over the past two years. Now I know what I want and what I don’t want.
Love should feel good. Relationships that leave you feeling depleted, sad and making excuses are not based in love. I believed in the fairy tale ending. When reality set in I didn’t know what to do. The stories didn’t tell what happened to Cinderella when she woke up the morning after the wedding and the details of marriage began. I was clinging to the romance part of the story. I fooled myself into thinking I could make it all work but found I was stuck in a marriage that was never meant to last.
There is a peaceful quality to this love I have found that penetrates my inner core, touching a part of me that has always been there. When we are together, I am filled with warmth and a peace I have been searching for since I was a child. I don’t have to prove anything to him. He accepts me as I am and I can be myself at all times, no change required. He has helped me love myself and accept his love. When he looks at me, he truly sees me – I am not invisible anymore. I never felt my ex saw me. I didn’t feel accepted and deep down, truly loved. Today, I don’t feel anxious, needy or nervous. I am strong and this love I have has shown me that I am and always have been worthy of love.
I want to always feel this way but I know that life is change and there are no promises. I take one day at a time. Today I am loved, cherished, adored, accepted, and seen by the one I love. I am happy and in love for the first and hopefully the last time of my life. I have found the real thing and my search is over.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
