I didn’t like dating when I was younger. Guess that is one reason I married too quickly; didn’t give enough thought to the impact of marriage. I wanted a career but thought I would miss out if I didn’t get married. But that is the choice I made and for awhile I was happy with my decision. I am moving forward now, not looking back. Maybe I wanted to date earlier than most divorcees but I had been lonely for many years so it felt okay to think about dating and maybe finding another love sooner than later.
Okay, I have completed the CD series, feel better and stronger about life and am ready to try dating again. I don’t do the bar scene and my Sunday School class is mostly women so what to do? I tried dance lessons – no luck there. I realized it is a real challenge to meet a good, single man who wants a long term relationship as I do. I decide to try the Internet dating sites. Never did I know that when I reached my age I would consider meeting a man on the Internet.
Before I began surfing – I did take precautions to protect myself, identity wise. I invested in Life Lock to make sure my identity would be protected. I read about talking to people on the internet and made sure I followed the “rules”. I will be careful about not sharing personal information - check. I won't reveal anyone’s name but my own - check. I won't give out my address- check.
Now I am ready to start looking around. Hmm so many choices, where to go first.
The first site I tried was Eharmony.com. Rather expensive but I tried it off on and on for almost a year. Talked to a few men, but nothing came about except one guy. I contacted him and we went out about 3 times. He was a nice person but there was just wasn't any chemistry (maybe he should have been on Chemistry.com). I decided to end it and not waste either persons time. I was nice about it but I don't think he was happy when I stopped seeing him.
I tried Chemistry.com; Match.com (over rated); Christiansingles.com; free trials of True Singles.com.
One day a guy contacted me through my MySpace page. He sounded great. His photo looked like a body builder; very good looking. We started talking and things went pretty well. I was skeptical because I kept thinking why would such a good looking man be unable to find someone in his large city?
We talked for several weeks and then he finally told me he was overseas in W. Africa digging for gold and diamonds. He was an archeologist. Really? Hmm, sounds odd. Eventually we talk on the phone. He didn’t sound like an American. He has an accent I can’t figure out.
Then, the deal breaker --- he asks me for money ‘to get his goods from customs’. Yeah, right. I tell him I can’t do that. How come all of the sudden he doesn’t have money. This doesn’t make sense. He says his check is not in US money. What? How stupid does he think I am? I decide to end the conversations.
This scenario would happen several times over as the months went by and others contacted me. I thought this dating thing would be easier now that I am older and wiser but I didn’t know how many con men and crazies would be out there. Turns out to be a very interesting way of finding and learning about men plus I will have all kinds of “growth relationships.” There will be many lessons learned. This is going to be more difficult than I ever imagined.
The art of love... is largely the art of persistence. ~Albert Ellis
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