Somewhere, Out There (21)

When I first began getting contacted on the various sites, it was exciting and very flattering. Eventually I put my profile on Yahoo Personals. That is an interesting site and affordable. In the first week I was contacted by about 10 men from all over. It seemed difficult to find a man in my own town. They were from everywhere but my city. That is frustrating. As that site winds down I try Singlesnet.com. Not a bad site. I like the set up. After being on several sites, I seem to be recognizing men. They have also been on multiple sites. I begin to think I am not going to find ‘the one’ online.

Would I have more luck sitting at a Starbucks? Trawling a grocery store for a helpless male shopper? Prison rodeo (my cousin suggested that venue)? I am running out of ideas. I begin to think – I need to meet flesh and blood men, not just online men. I think some of them get a photo online and it is not really theirs. That would be easy to do. After several contacts asked me for money and I could see a pattern I began to investigate online scams.

I found a website that you can check to see if anyone else has had a similar experience with the man. If you are suspicious, romancescams.org is a good site to check an email or photo. You can see if anyone recognizes the email address. You can also post the photo(s) you have received to see if they are used under another name. Also, I figured out how to see what their IP address is. There is a site IP Whosis that lets you put in the IP address and see where the person is located. That can confirm your suspicions or just let you know where the person is really located. I know it sounds sneaky and cynical but you have to be careful and protect yourself. I want to protect my heart just as I would protect my identity.

What has fascinated me is why so many men are in W. Africa doing construction. You would think there are lots of jobs here in the US. I felt the men needed to all get together so they would have friends. There seem to be patterns to these men. Usually widowed, have a child that is with them, a couple has said their children live with relatives in another country. Their occupation is construction, engineering, import/export, or antiques. Then as time goes by and we have talked for awhile, they start talking about the inability to get their goods from customs or their child is sick.

I had one guy tell me his child was dying from malaria unless they got a blood transfusion. I researched online about malaria treatments. None of them say anything about transfusions. Some of them must think I am really stupid. When I refuse to send money they start the guilt talk which doesn’t work on me. I had three kids that couldn’t guilt me into things so these guys can’t either. Some of the stories they come up with to get you to send money. REMEMBER: Don’t ever send money to anyone you have never met.

I suppose at this point you must think I am getting desperate about finding a man. I am not. I am a hopeful romantic and I want the fairy tale ending.


I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. ~Javan