I Just Haven’t Met You Yet (22)

This chapter title is a song that Michael Buble sings on his Crazy Love CD. The words are perfect for people dating. Here is the first part of the song, but you need to hear all of it ----

Haven't Met You Yet
I'm not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down,
I tried so very hard not to lose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility,
And I know some day that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get --
I just haven't met you yet.


The experiment continues. After a suggestion from someone I check out the personals listings on Craigslist.com. Very entertaining. Some of the posts are amazing, some are just weird. I read one from a guy that said “mountain man wanting woman to work since I don’t. Chop wood, keep house”. He even posted a photo. Looked like a grizzly, old mountain man. Yea, I’m going to answer that one. Anyway, I don’t chop wood.

I scan the ones in my age range and find a simple post from an older man that sounds interesting, not a psycho. I respond and we email a few times and decide to meet. We meet for lunch at a restaurant of my choice. We sit for a couple of hours just talking and getting to know each other. He called me a couple of days later and we went out several times. He was a mature, kind, educated man with a good job and a beautiful home. When he decided he just didn’t have time for a woman in his life (then why did he post a message?), we left as friends. I know I could call him if I ever needed anything.

A couple of months later, I found another interesting post on Craigslist. It was very creative and intriguing. It read like a chapter from a romance novel. I am a sucker for romance so I had to respond. We emailed a few times, spoke on the phone, and then met at a restaurant nearby. He didn’t look like what I expected but I don’t judge a person on their looks, it’s the inside that counts. We sat and talked for a long time. He was funny, good conversation, I thought I would give it a chance. We went out a few times and things are going okay. We are still seeing each other but not as often as I would like. He is a retail manager, so he doesn’t get much time off. I don’t know where this is going; it may turn out to be a “growth relationship”. Just have to see.

I go back to the internet. I may be naïve, but I keep thinking a good man is out there. I have realized I don’t need a man to make me happy, but I would like to have a relationship with a kind, honest, affectionate man. I communicate with more options online but no one a keeper. I talk to a few more men from all over the map. This is a note about photo posting. Hey guys – no hats, sunglasses, other women in the photo over 18, your high school or driver’s license photo. Variety is good; and don’t just post the photo of you in your war reenactment photo. And make sure they aren’t more than 2 yrs old.

As my internet dating experience grows, I am noticing patterns. If you have ever read postings on dating sites, a person posts their city/state. You would think people would be honest but they aren’t. I am an honest person and wouldn’t think about lying on purpose. A person can say they are from “New York”, “Chicago”, or Timbuktu but I have found out that means nothing. Eventually the truth comes out. As I said before, there are crooks everywhere. W. Africa, UK, and Spain are popular locations. The person talks, tells you he is honest (don’t know the meaning of the word), says he is really interested in you and wants to meet. Reeling you in with flowery words, saying just the right things. Then you find out they are just using you. Eventually they ask for some kind of financial support. I’ve heard “my child is sick”, “I lost my wallet”, “I have spent all the cash I brought and need help getting my stuff out of customs”, actually not very creative.

When I say I don’t loan money – all of the sudden their “feelings” are history and the guilt begins. I just say no and stop communicating. It actually becomes a let down. You think “hey this might be someone I want to know and meet”, but it is ruined by uncaring, unscrupulous men looking for only money.

I envision a large room, banks of computers and phones with each one manned by a guy looking for lonely, single women. I know that finding the love of my life online is a shot in the dark but I keep hoping and throwing my fishing pole into the sea of men. If nothing else I have learned a lot and maybe it will help other women know what to avoid, how to stay safe.

Another site that I have visited but it is pretty low tech is Zoosk. That is Facebooks dating site. I was contacted by a local man recently. We have been out a couple of times. Since we are just getting started there isn’t much to tell. He is a widower, 2 grown sons, works a good job. He is nice, good conversation, a gentleman. He tells me he likes being around me but I can’t decide how I feel about him. Dating is complicated and takes a lot of effort. I will keep you posted on what happens next.



The only mistake is not to risk making one.